his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
