Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
