ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
