The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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