I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
