Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
