Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
