I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
