at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
