he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize