She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
