She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
