love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize