they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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