Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
