he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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