i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
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