I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
