Nicole vs. Life
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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