So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
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