The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
