Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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