we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
