the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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