You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
