My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
