So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
