Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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