low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's like iHOP with fire
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize