Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
