Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
birth control should be required to get into college
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
