so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
