Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
