We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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