my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is it because I queefed?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My ass is underappreciated
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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