I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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