make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
