Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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