in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He did a backflip because drugs
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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