I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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