did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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