WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
