I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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