I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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