He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
