He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
