He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
