I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
