Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
