I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
