You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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