I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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