Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
