i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Define "chronic" masturbator.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
