He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
