we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
