i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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