shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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