Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
