You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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