so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
